God, give us more faith.

(Note: I wrote this on facebook, so this is an old post, but I wanted to have it here on the blog for others to read. Enjoy!)

      As many of you know, I applied to attend the Monavale Capernwray Bible School in New Zealand. Once I got accepted, I was super excited! For a while, I was even counting down the days, and wanted to leave now and not wait until January. For some reason, though, that excitement didn't last too long. Just this last week, I've been having a really hard time not knowing if God wants me to go. There seemed to be road block after road block keeping me from going.

     First, I went on a trip to the ocean and left my wallet at a restaurant there. My wallet was shipped back a week later, but with $150 of cash missing. Second, I've had two traffice violations in the last couple months, plus I just got a letter from the Oregon Department Of Revenue stating that I owe some college $150. Lastly, I ordered my plane tickets twice, and they both fell through. I was getting more and more discouraged. Then I started realizing that five months, away from home, is really a very long time and I wondered if it was too long.

     I began to question whether these road blocks were from God or from Satan? Either God didn't want me to go, or Satan really didn't want me to go. How to know? On Tuesday, I was so emotionally torn with whether to just completely give up on Capernwray, or keep trying, even though it seemed nothing was working out.

     On Wednesday, Pastor Art was talking about faith. Grace-produced faith. "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." -Heb11:1   The faith of Abraham. Abraham went forward into a strange country, living in tents, not even knowing what was ahead but trusting fully in God's plan for him and his family.

I realized that I needed to put everything in God's hands, and keep pushing forward. If God didn't want me to go, I knew He could and would stop me. God had placed on my heart to go away, for a while, to study the Bible, and Capernwray NZ seemed like the place for me! So why not keep trying?

     It wasn't until today that God spoke to me in an amazing way. In a way that I would've never expected! I was working at my coffee shop and conversing with a regular customer, in line, about how I would be leaving in three months to attend a Bible School in New Zealand. I noticed the next customer in line, a gentleman, seemed to be listening closely. When he came up to the bar, he didn't have much to say so I just made him his drink and then he sat down. There was a long line of customers, so I just kept helping them. I noticed him watching me, though. He seemed to be pondering my interaction with the customers. There was something about him that made me think he was a believer. What does the Bible say in Matthew 7:16a? "You will know them by their fruits."  There was something up with this guy!

     Finally, the line of customers was gone and this man came up to the counter and started talking to me. He asked me to tell him about the school I was thinking of attending and wanted to know why I wanted to go there. It was somewhat odd, but I told him everything. After that, he just smiled slightly, put his hand out, which had a wad of $20s in it, and said, "Here. This is for your trip.". and then just walked out. I was speachless and didn't realize what was going on, so I just blurted out a thank you, and then he was gone. He walked out of there fast, too. I wanted to cry, but couldn't because more customers were coming through the doors. I wanted to run after him and thank him, but couldn't. I just stuffed the money in my pocket and kept working.

     I honestly have never seen this man before, not sure where he came from and why he would choose to bless me. But one thing I do know is, that was God. God spoke to that man and told him to help me out. God used that money as a sign to say, "Hey Anna, guess what? You're going to New Zealand." Why would I receive that blessing? What am I worthy of? Nothing. Why didn't someone, with a greater need, receive the money? Someone with a greater faith? Why me, God?

     I am still in awe over this whole situation, and I can't believe it actually happened! But what I do know is that my faith is 100% stronger, and God is faithful to hear our cry and will answer us. We just need to have patience and wait. We need to have faith, inspired by grace.

     I just bought by plane tickets, this evening. I am praying that these tickets actually work out, but I'm not worried about it anymore. God has a plan. He knows what He is doing. Are we willing to trust in that? My life verse has always been Romans 8:28, and it probably always will. "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God; to those who are called according to His purposes."  Amen.

     Thank you to those who have been praying for me! I'd love for those prayers to keep coming as preperation for this trip hasn't been easy and I still have a lot to do. I leave in exactly 3 months from today! Crazy.

Trust in the Lord and do good; so you will live in the land, and enjoy security. Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him." - Psalm 37:3-5, 7a

I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears." - Psalm 34:4

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."  - Proverbs 3:5-6

I love you guys and will miss you all terribly, but the time will fly by!! :)

Love,

Anna Renae